He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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