Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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