So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
