we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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