pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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