He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
