If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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