I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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