I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize