We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
