He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
