from now on my penis is your penis
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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