It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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