fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize