How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
