I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
