Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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