We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
