Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
