we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
