i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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