You work out of a Hotel?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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