Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
