Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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