There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
