This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
