I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
