felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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