i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
