Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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