Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
