take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
