do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
