we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is Oprah even human
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
