kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
