just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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