YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
