Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
