I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize