is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize