Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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