i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
