We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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