You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
