Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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