I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize