Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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