I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
