when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
