Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
