Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
