Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
