i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
