White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize