I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
