Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My day in three words: secret purse cake
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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