I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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