Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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