i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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