just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
