Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
