Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize