if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
