Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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