"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
