I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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