Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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