Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We need to rekindle our bromance
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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